Wedding Guests Share Red Flags for Doomed Marriages
Even though divorce rates are dropping, marriages that are bad from the start are still a sad reality. There’s nothing more tragic than everyone but the bride and groom realizing the marriage won’t work on their wedding day. These wedding guests recount the biggest red flags they've seen at weddings.
The Second Fiddle Bride
The groom spent almost the entire wedding glued to his female work colleague to the point that the bride had to drag him away for their first dance. They also kept going off somewhere together. A friend tried to follow them outside but it was too dark to locate them. You could see the obvious hurt on the bride's face throughout the day.
She Knows How to Leave a Mark
My cousin's fiancé hit on every male cousin on the day of our grandfather's funeral. In doing so, she bit me on the butt so hard she left purple bruise-lined teeth marks.
Who Says It’s the Thought That Counts?
The other day a coworker told me about a wedding she was just in the bridal party for. The groom and his mother were counting out how much each family gave as a cash gift and giving the bride grief because her family wasn’t able to give as much as the groom’s family. I feel like that’s an insanely bad way to start a marriage.
Passive Aggressive, Much
The groom hated the bride’s family, while the groom’s family didn’t approve of the bride. Very awkward at a wedding!
Nothing Like a Good Ol’ Fashion Shotgun Wedding
My cousin was in the army, while his bride was six months pregnant, a senior in high school and had just turned 18 the previous day. Her grandfather was the officiant, and he gave a big speech about how marriage was only between one man and one woman and no one can tear apart what God put together.
Some People Have No Poker Face
The bride told me and my partner a few weeks earlier that she didn't want to go through with it. She had generic vows, while the husband's were beautiful. She had a sour face the whole time. It was almost funny.
It’s All About Priorities
It was my wedding. The groom stopped the entire ceremony, which was held at our place, so he could watch The Simpsons. There was no discussion about this beforehand — he just did it.
So Much for That “In Sickness … ” Vow
After the ceremony, the bride — who had epilepsy — had a seizure, and her family took her into a side room away from all the guests to look after her until she recovered.
This Isn’t Vegas, People
A girl I went to school with posted a video of her ceremony on social media. The groom was so drunk, the best man had to hold him upright. Lots of swaying and random, incoherent babbling.
Bring on the Popcorn
The groom was making out with a bridesmaid while his new bride proceeded to get black-out drunk and cry in the corner.
Call in the Search Party
The bride and groom got in an argument post-reception, and the bride ran away. It was in a small town in the middle of nowhere, but we ran around all night trying to find her. What an adventure. We found her after a couple of hours. She was near the hotel just chilling outside, acting like nothing happened.
There’s a Reason Why You Should Never Invite Exes to Weddings
When the "ex-girlfriend" stood up to object with a pregnancy stick in her hand. "Positive it's you," she said.
Points for Honesty
The processional music was Options by Pedro the Lion.
The Sad Life of a Beard
The bride worked with a couple of my friends and then for the groom and best man when they started their own business. I knew her for years before the marriage, from before she met the groom. We never dated or considered dating, but we were part of each other's core social groups. We talked a lot.
Keeping It Classy
It was my best friend's wedding. 15 minutes into the reception, the now-wife was at the main dinner table screaming at her mom, who was across the room, calling her something decidedly unladylike. She was a gem.
A Bride Ready to Cut Loose
At the reception, there is a local tradition for the groomsmen to 'steal the bride.' Basically, they do a quick bar hop and come back to continue the reception.
Because a House Deposit Is a Reasonable Gift Expectation
The groom was madly in love with his fiancé (as one would hope), always got the vibe she just wasn’t that... into it.
Bring on That Old Ball and Chain
I was at a Christmas party last night, and the fiancé (yup, not even married yet) said getting married would be "the worst mistake" and "the end of his life" right in front of his fiancée ... so yeah, that’s looking hopeful.
So Painful You Can’t Look Away
The bride was pregnant. The groom may or may not have been the father. She also invited her lover to the wedding and got really pissed off because said lover was flirting with me.
When Love Means Changing Who You Are
I attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he was, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her and how that made everything perfect.
As Long as We’re on the Same Page
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and right after the ceremony, the bride told me this wasn’t actually a wedding because the groom couldn’t get married. He was still married to someone else.
Taking Traditions a Little Too Seriously
At my own wedding, when my wife threw the bride’s bouquet over her shoulder towards all the single ladies, one of them took a few steps back to take a run up and used the shoulders of some other girls to jump like a quarterback making the final game-deciding touchdown.
Never Underestimate the Aging Power of Stress
At my buddy's wedding, the bride was escorted down the aisle by a friend. She was so pilled up that she was nodding off like a junky. I thought, "Is anyone else seeing this?!" and had feelings of dread for him. I'd never seen anything like it. Of course, she’d always seemed flaky and ditzy, but this was the icing on the cake, and during his wedding no less.
What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate
At the end of the ceremony, she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit — tight, purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said, "Oh, I didn't know we were dressing up." She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust. They separated six months later.
Only Fools Rush In
The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple of hundred people, said, "Can you believe that just two months ago, the bride was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!" Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.
A Case of Incompatible Love Languages
During a round of truth or dare with his members of the wedding party the night before, the groom admitted his biggest love language was touch, but that she hated to express affection physically. All he wanted was to be cuddled sometimes, and she’d refuse.
How Soon Can You Request an Annulment?
When the officiant said, "You may kiss the bride," the groom leaned in, but when she went to meet him, he pulled away and pointed and laughed at her. He also was flirting aggressively with the maid of honor.
She Won’t Have to Worry About Other Women
I worked as a county prosecutor. I handled a sentencing hearing where the guy was sent to prison for about two years.
Guess Who the Groom Is Going Home With
The Bride and groom secretly married and told NO ONE because their relationship would cost him his job. They had a wedding one year later, about a month after she graduated — college, not high school.
The groom forgot the bride's name during his toast and called her a similar but very different name. (Like, if her name was Brenda, he called her Brittney.) It lasted two years.