Wedding Guests Share Red Flags for Doomed Marriages
Even though divorce rates are dropping, marriages that are bad from the start are still a sad reality. There’s nothing more tragic than everyone but the bride and groom realizing the marriage won’t work on their wedding day. These wedding guests recount the biggest red flags they’ve seen at weddings.
The Second Fiddle Bride
The groom spent almost the entire wedding glued to his female work colleague to the point that the bride had to drag him away for their first dance. They also kept going off somewhere together. A friend tried to follow them outside but it was too dark to locate them. You could see the obvious hurt on the bride’s face throughout the day.
Prior to the wedding, he took his colleague away abroad for his stag ‘do — just the two of them, despite the bride’s protests — and in his wedding speech, he pointed his colleague out and told her that he’d had “the best time of his life” that weekend.
They’re still together at the moment, but I don’t see it being the happy ending that the bride was so desperate for.
She Knows How to Leave a Mark
My cousin’s fiancé hit on every male cousin on the day of our grandfather’s funeral. In doing so, she bit me on the butt so hard she left purple bruise-lined teeth marks.
On their wedding day, my cousin’s mother offered to pay for literally everything if he wanted to back out. I can’t think of a bigger red flag than your own parents saying, “I’m willing to spend five figures for you to stay single.”
Who Says It’s the Thought That Counts?
The other day a coworker told me about a wedding she was just in the bridal party for. The groom and his mother were counting out how much each family gave as a cash gift and giving the bride grief because her family wasn’t able to give as much as the groom’s family. I feel like that’s an insanely bad way to start a marriage.
Passive Aggressive, Much
The groom hated the bride’s family, while the groom’s family didn’t approve of the bride. Very awkward at a wedding!
The bride made her promises — something along the lines of, “I promise to try and be worthy of your family” — and we all raised eyebrows at each other.
The groom’s speech was all about how much he had helped his bride change for the better and how he ‘made her what she is’. My eyebrows were practically falling off the top of my head at that point. It’s been a few months, so I guess we will wait and see … I just thought it was very controlling.
Nothing Like a Good Ol’ Fashion Shotgun Wedding
My cousin was in the army, while his bride was six months pregnant, a senior in high school and had just turned 18 the previous day. Her grandfather was the officiant, and he gave a big speech about how marriage was only between one man and one woman and no one can tear apart what God put together.
They opened their gifts in front of everyone like it was a birthday party. There was no alcohol, dancing or food. Within 30 to 40 minutes after the gift opening, the “happy” couple peeled out of the Boy Scout lodge, doing donuts while her teenage friends cheered them on.
They spent the night at the hotel everyone was staying at — separately — which consisted of him getting wasted with his friends while she was alone in their room. In front of our entire family, my sister said, “I give them a year.” She was wrong, though …
Within three months of the kid coming, they had split, and my cousin swears the kid isn’t his. The whole wedding was one giant red flag.
Some People Have No Poker Face
The bride told me and my partner a few weeks earlier that she didn’t want to go through with it. She had generic vows, while the husband’s were beautiful. She had a sour face the whole time. It was almost funny.
It turned out that she’d been shagging my partner for the last year, and she left her husband for him four months in. I dodged a bullet.
It’s All About Priorities
It was my wedding. The groom stopped the entire ceremony, which was held at our place, so he could watch The Simpsons. There was no discussion about this beforehand — he just did it.
No, we are not still married. Shocking, I know.
So Much for That “In Sickness … ” Vow
After the ceremony, the bride — who had epilepsy — had a seizure, and her family took her into a side room away from all the guests to look after her until she recovered.
The groom didn’t bother to go and help look after his wife. He was too busy getting drunk and partying with all his mates. Even after the bride recovered enough to return to the celebrations, he didn’t stay with her or comfort her, and she sat there in tears for half the night.
It lasted a couple of years before they divorced due to his selfishness and alcohol problem.
This Isn’t Vegas, People
A girl I went to school with posted a video of her ceremony on social media. The groom was so drunk, the best man had to hold him upright. Lots of swaying and random, incoherent babbling.
The bride didn’t seem particularly phased by it and had a sort of, “eh, just ignore him and let’s get on with it” kind of attitude. There was also an album of photos, and the groom was flipping off the camera in literally every picture he was in.
I was honestly shocked that the officiant went through with the ceremony and doubly shocked she put it out there for everyone to see. Cue a few months worth of, “I can’t believe he’s drunk all the time!” follow-up posts. Divorced less than a year later.
Bring on the Popcorn
The groom was making out with a bridesmaid while his new bride proceeded to get black-out drunk and cry in the corner.
Call in the Search Party
The bride and groom got in an argument post-reception, and the bride ran away. It was in a small town in the middle of nowhere, but we ran around all night trying to find her. What an adventure. We found her after a couple of hours. She was near the hotel just chilling outside, acting like nothing happened.
There’s a Reason Why You Should Never Invite Exes to Weddings
When the “ex-girlfriend” stood up to object with a pregnancy stick in her hand. “Positive it’s you,” she said.
Points for Honesty
The processional music was Options by Pedro the Lion.
“I could never divorce you without a good reason. And though I may never have to, it’s good to have options. But for now, I need you. But for now, I want you. But for now, I’ll hold you.”
I guess they found a good reason, because that marriage lasted a year and a half.
The Sad Life of a Beard
The bride worked with a couple of my friends and then for the groom and best man when they started their own business. I knew her for years before the marriage, from before she met the groom. We never dated or considered dating, but we were part of each other’s core social groups. We talked a lot.
The bride and groom met in college. They dated casually. He always took her to family functions back home, but when they were back at school, he distanced himself.
From the first time I met him, I knew he was gay. This was before I met or even heard about the best friend. He didn’t react at all to her or to other women. His eyes just didn’t go where the eyes of a guy who’s interested in women go. He was fit and well-groomed, and I saw more than one female flirting attempt crash and burn.
All her friends tried to warn her. We literally took turns.
My girlfriend at the time worked with a sweet little guy who performed in drag shows. We invited the bride and groom to go with us to a show and support him. The big, loud downtown gay dance club had a straight night that was a hoot, and a bunch of us used to go on a regular basis. He flatly refused to go to a gay bar.
A few years after the wedding, the groom’s father died. Within a week of the funeral, he told her it wasn’t working and moved in with the best man.
It’s just sad that he wasted so much time to keep from disappointing his father, and that she wasted so much time participating in his lie.
Keeping It Classy
It was my best friend’s wedding. 15 minutes into the reception, the now-wife was at the main dinner table screaming at her mom, who was across the room, calling her something decidedly unladylike. She was a gem.
A Bride Ready to Cut Loose
At the reception, there is a local tradition for the groomsmen to ‘steal the bride.’ Basically, they do a quick bar hop and come back to continue the reception.
My husband was a groomsman, and after more than an hour passed from the ‘theft,’ I finally called him. He said she was having a blast and wouldn’t leave.
The groom had arrived back after about 30 minutes. He laughed it off at first but then just looked relieved when she finally blew back in, totally smashed. They made it about two months after that.
Because a House Deposit Is a Reasonable Gift Expectation
The groom was madly in love with his fiancé (as one would hope), always got the vibe she just wasn’t that… into it.
During the wedding he was so nervous he stuttered. Bride rolled her eyes and looked pissed. Then later in the night after dinner and music had started, the bride got annoyed people weren’t staying in their allocated seats.
They had a “wishing well” for presents. We added our anonymous gift with a card and thought that was that. One week later get an abusive call that we did not put in. This ended up getting so bad it tore down multiple friendships for the groom.
The bride wanted enough money to buy a house. Turns out the bride was cheating on him the whole time, with someone who was also married.
He ended up leaving her about two years later when a teenage family friend told him about the cheating. She then was threatening to take half his business if he didn’t pay her rent for the following 3 or 6 months. All types of class.
Bring on That Old Ball and Chain
I was at a Christmas party last night, and the fiancé (yup, not even married yet) said getting married would be “the worst mistake” and “the end of his life” right in front of his fiancée … so yeah, that’s looking hopeful.
So Painful You Can’t Look Away
The bride was pregnant. The groom may or may not have been the father. She also invited her lover to the wedding and got really pissed off because said lover was flirting with me.
She had slept with her sister’s fiancé two months before the wedding. At the bachelorette party, she was also snorting copious amounts of cocaine.
After her child was born, she got divorced, and hubby got custody. She went back to live with her parents because she kept getting fired and couldn’t support herself. Biggest trainwreck I’ve ever seen personally.
When Love Means Changing Who You Are
I attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he was, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her and how that made everything perfect.
As Long as We’re on the Same Page
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and right after the ceremony, the bride told me this wasn’t actually a wedding because the groom couldn’t get married. He was still married to someone else.
She was three months pregnant and was throwing a fake wedding to please her religious family and collect money and gifts. So that was cool. They “divorced” within a year.
Taking Traditions a Little Too Seriously
At my own wedding, when my wife threw the bride’s bouquet over her shoulder towards all the single ladies, one of them took a few steps back to take a run up and used the shoulders of some other girls to jump like a quarterback making the final game-deciding touchdown.
She literally flew over the other girls, but another one got the bouquet before she could reach it, which didn’t stop her. She forcibly snatched the flowers out of the other girl’s hands while in mid-air. The flowers were ripped apart at that point, and a lot of the girls were falling and stumbling to the ground.
She emerged out of this pile of single ladies with a couple of destroyed flowers in her hand, her hair and clothes all over the place, and loudly should her victory while looking around to find her boyfriend, who had quietly snuck away while she was going berserk for the bouquet.
It was hilarious and depressing at the same time. Her boyfriend ended the relationship shortly after the wedding.
Never Underestimate the Aging Power of Stress
At my buddy’s wedding, the bride was escorted down the aisle by a friend. She was so pilled up that she was nodding off like a junky. I thought, “Is anyone else seeing this?!” and had feelings of dread for him. I’d never seen anything like it. Of course, she’d always seemed flaky and ditzy, but this was the icing on the cake, and during his wedding no less.
Anyways, I moved out of town and lost touch. Eventually, I went back to his place of work looking for another friend and didn’t recognize him when we bumped into each other. He used to be blonde and slim; now he’s paunchy, dark and grey-haired. He looks like a worn-out, middle-aged man.
Turns out she left him bankrupt and with their kid.
What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate
At the end of the ceremony, she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit — tight, purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said, “Oh, I didn’t know we were dressing up.” She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust. They separated six months later.
Only Fools Rush In
The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple of hundred people, said, “Can you believe that just two months ago, the bride was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!” Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.
A Case of Incompatible Love Languages
During a round of truth or dare with his members of the wedding party the night before, the groom admitted his biggest love language was touch, but that she hated to express affection physically. All he wanted was to be cuddled sometimes, and she’d refuse.
He said he hoped it would get better after they were married. All the groomsmen made frantic eye contact and changed the subject.
How Soon Can You Request an Annulment?
When the officiant said, “You may kiss the bride,” the groom leaned in, but when she went to meet him, he pulled away and pointed and laughed at her. He also was flirting aggressively with the maid of honor.
Divorced within a year. No one was surprised.
She Won’t Have to Worry About Other Women
I worked as a county prosecutor. I handled a sentencing hearing where the guy was sent to prison for about two years.
As I was walking out of the courtroom, his girlfriend asked the judge to marry her to her boyfriend, who was going to prison. The judge said she needed a marriage license and that there was a two day waiting period .He was basically telling her not to marry the guy.
She pulled out the marriage license. The judge then said two witnesses were needed — she was alone. The dude’s attorney grabbed me by the arm and enthusiastically volunteered us to be the witnesses. The wedding went through, and now I have a story for Reddit.
On a side note, the guy was in an orange jumpsuit and literally shackled during the ceremony.
Guess Who the Groom Is Going Home With
The Bride and groom secretly married and told NO ONE because their relationship would cost him his job. They had a wedding one year later, about a month after she graduated — college, not high school.
While at the reception, we were playing a counting game consisting of how many groomsmen the bride had slept with. Which was all 8 of them. The groom had slept with 3 of the bridesmaids, so there was that, too.
Then we started the betting pool at the reception (which only played country music and served grits three ways with beer. I won. They lasted six months after the ceremony, which isn’t too surprising considering the bride went home with the guitarist from the reception band instead of with the groom.
The groom forgot the bride’s name during his toast and called her a similar but very different name. (Like, if her name was Brenda, he called her Brittney.) It lasted two years.
Oddly, a different wedding where the bride started labor during the reception is going strong 10 years later. It was absolutely a shotgun wedding. Her father pretty much told him either man up and marry her or get out of her life so she could find the kid a real father.
The groom was a stoner at the time who most of our family disliked, but somehow between her third trimester and the birth, he straightened up.
He worked for a few years, got injured and became a stay at home dad while she worked. He’s a great dad and seems to be a great husband. Their home is always clean enough to be healthy but cluttered enough to be comfortable, and he cooks dinner six nights a week so his wife can come home and relax after work. Plus, while he was working, she was going to school for her special education certification, and he never once tried to discourage her or imply that it was a stupid job the way her mother did.
But yeah, when your water breaks during the father-daughter dance, things will be said.