Things Married People Secretly Hate About Their Spouses
Ahhh, married life — that beautiful arrangement where two people who really love each other merge their lives into one and cohabitate forever. While that may sound nice in theory, some of the daily realities aren’t quite that picture-perfect. Marriage also brings together two sets of likes, dislikes and personality quirks under one roof. It can start to feel like tight quarters pretty quickly.
It can be tricky to manage differences, especially after being together for a number of years. Things can get pretty interesting, to say the least! Let’s take a look at some of the entertaining Reddit answers to what annoys people most about their spouses. Warning: The answers may very well make you think about your own behavior in your relationship.
How a Husband Avoids Social Life
HSpears is annoyed by her spouse’s inability to fake friendliness and his anti-social behavior. "At first, I found it so authentic and refreshing. Now, if he doesn't want to do something, I can't get him to do it. For example, I got invited to a wedding where I didn't know many people. I felt uncomfortable going alone, so I made him come with me. He sat there with the grumpiest face all night and completely ruined what could have been a fun evening.
He is unable to fake being nice and have a good time, even for someone he loves. So, now I have a social life, and he just doesn't care to have one. I feel like I miss out on half a life because he doesn't [care] about anyone but me."
She Talks Non-Stop (But Not Always to People)
According to IrisIncarnate, "She talks constantly. I'm a guy who can appreciate a good silence, but she hates it. She has to fill every silence by talking or humming or singing or playing music or putting on a TV show. Most of the time she isn't talking to me, really. As I type this, she is playing Fallout and just kind of narrating her experience. It's still pretty cute and charming at times, but it was far more adorable when we first started dating than now.
I have grown accustomed to just tuning her out, doing other stuff or even leaving the room mid-sentence, because she usually isn’t talking to me. Of course, sometimes she is talking to me, and I look like a jerk for not listening. But I think if I listened in depth to everything, I would lose my mind."
Why Won't You Argue with Me?
User Relleck_ENI has a problem with "her anti-confrontational attitude. It was a breath of fresh air to be with someone who had a pretty laid-back attitude about things and didn't seek to make a fight out of the smallest things.
Now, 11 years later, I still can't get her to properly communicate her own desires and/or gripes during an argument. She won’t even confront a family member about something out of line they've done." You know all that bottled up emotion eventually won’t end well.
When Your Wife Doesn’t Have Her Head in the Game
Redditor StraightOuttaBottoms noted the following complaint: "Reversing the roles, I play football/soccer at a high level, and she used to find it cute to watch me play and train. Now that she’s realized I have to travel on and off and train every day for most of the day, either with my club or on my own, I can safely say she despises the sport."
Hmm — that seems like the kind of thing she would have figured out while dating. Maybe he should cry foul, because it sounds like her irritation is entirely out of bounds.
The Perils of Marrying Rapunzel
Captain23222 isn’t thrilled about his wife’s hair. He said, "She has such long, beautiful hair, but it gets everywhere. Drains. Sinks. Carpets. I have had to sit and cut hair out of the vacuum to get it to work again. The hair was knotted around the roller, locking it up.
Not to mention, I've had her hair on me and stuck all over my clothing." That definitely sounds like a pretty hairy situation to handle. It’s too bad he doesn’t have a hair fetish.
When Paying Attention Becomes Exhausting
Per Reddit user __idea_, "In the beginning, he used to really need me, and he always required a lot of attention. I loved it, at first. I loved to feel needed, and I 100% absolutely loved to lavish him with my adoring attention endlessly. I was absolutely devoted.
Fast forward 15 years, I feel used up and taken for granted. He has never reciprocated; our relationship has always been strongly one way. His behavior was exactly what I wanted and needed — at one point. Now, it's just something that upsets me a lot."
Let Me Help You!
First, Reddit user Neishia is still very happily married and in love. However, there is one thing that does cause a ruckus every now and then. When they were dating and living together, they would do DIY stuff around the house. She knows a little more than the basics because her dad taught her how to do many things. In fact, she owned several of her own power tools before they got together.
Now, when doing projects, her hubby won’t let her do much. Back then, she thought he was a gentleman who didn’t want her to get dirty. These days, she watches him do something and sometimes knows a better way, but he won’t listen to her. "It’s like he doesn't believe me, so he'll try 18 other ways before landing on the way I suggested — and it works out just dandy. It's pretty frustrating. I can do more than hold something while he works!"
How to Survive Being Married to a Cud-Chewing Cow
CreampuffOfLove says, "It takes my husband forever to eat a meal. It was very well suited to long dates, romantic dinners, those intense getting-to-know-you conversations at the beginning. It’s 15 years later, and I just want to have a meal where I'm not done before he's barely taken a bite!
His whole family is like this, and I simply don't understand. It's food, you put it on a plate, eat it and get on with life! For them, mealtimes often stretch on for hours, occasionally into the next meal if it's a family event. I just don't get it."
Maybe She Likes Watching Him Sleep
Reddit user Whitehexe says her husband falls asleep instantly. "He works long hours and is always tired, which I get, but he falls asleep literally while eating or in the middle of a sentence.
It was really cute for a while, and I still can’t actually be mad at him because I know it’s because he’s working so hard. But when we only get late evenings to talk over a quick dinner, and I’m constantly having to wake him up every five minutes, it gets less and less cute." Hopefully, they have ruled out a medical condition.
Paying for Her Parents' Mistakes
A little pride is mixed in with SerielAwooer’s annoyance. "Her bossiness is irritating. She came from a really hard upbringing, and I was floored by how well she took charge, refusing to fall into the same trap as her family.
Actually, I’m still floored most of the time. Even when I'm annoyed at being bossed around, I'm proud of her. From trailer park to prosecutor, she’s amazing."
When "Fun and Spontaneous" Becomes "Scary and Unreliable"
Remember those carefree days of youth when all you cared about was having fun? Well, most of us grew up and realized "wild and crazy" can’t last forever.
Reddit user totallyoriginalname2 had this to say about her adventurous husband. "His spontaneity used to be really fun and sexy, but now it's like living with a real-life Homer Simpson/Phil Dunphy hybrid. No joke, I am just waiting for the day he comes home with a bag of magic beans."
"Cute" Habits Can Become Sinister
Reddit user oenonesart said this about her spouse: "His jealousy was a little cute at first because it was very mild and appeared harmless. I figured he would learn over time that he could trust me completely, and it would lessen or go away.
Instead, it took a completely opposite turn, and he became violently jealous of every man who so much as looked in my direction. We are now divorced." Smart girl.
Want to Debate About That (and Everything Else)?
"Debate with me" sounded simple enough. According to user slantedshoes, "It was great in the beginning, because I felt like I met my intellectual equal. Now, I realize she’s just a disagreeable person. I’m 90% sure if I told her the sky was blue, she would find a way to dispute my assertion with some pedantic loophole.
To the critics who jumped on her bandwagon, I just double checked out the window, and the sky is definitely blue. Do you want to know what shade of blue? Sky blue! Explaining why it’s blue doesn’t make it not blue."
Can You Get Along Too Well?
Redditor Bhavatarini called attention to the annoyance of getting along too well. "At the beginning of our relationship, especially when we first moved in together, everything he did would infuriate me. The way he chewed, the frequency that he changed his sheets — you would be nauseous if you knew — but it was adjustment pains.
Now we have a system for things that have annoyed us in the past — generally cleaning frequency — and his quirks (like chewing loudly) make me feel better about my own quirks. If he didn't annoy me sometimes, I would feel guilty that I annoy him so much. Having a perfect spouse that never irritated you would be boring and scary — too Stepford for me!"
Being Married to a Champion Competitor
"Whether we play video games, board games, Skee Ball or whatever, he is playing to win," said Redditor insertcaffeine. "At first, I was glad that he would never let me win. He saw me as a peer, not as a little woman he had to go easy on.
But he is way better than me at video games. When we play, it's pretty much a guarantee that I will lose. Mario Kart? I will unleash fury upon him with blue shells, lightning bolts, red shells and whatever else I can throw at him, and he will still win. Fighting games? I don't stand a chance — ever. Every once in a while, I take him out to a place with Skee Ball, though, so I can win for once, and we are evenly matched at board games, so that's nice."
My Job Is Games, Your Job Is … Everything Else
For video game lover imperfectchicken, starting a family was hard. "The husband and I love video games. There was so much resentment when the baby was born because he would go play and tell me to call for him if I needed help with anything. So, you're shut in a different part of the house with headphones on, and you don’t see the three baskets of laundry that need to be folded?
Meanwhile, I could count on one hand the number of times I got to sit down at my desktop. It's a lot better now. He asks if there's anything that needs to be done before he plays, and he takes the baby with him. Also, I hired a cleaning service."
He Opens Bags Like a Psychopath
Reddit user just_go_with_it_ takes issue with her husband’s manhandling of products that need to be opened. "He is all about opening something the wrong way or forcing it open. If a bag of cookies has a resealable opening, he will tear it open from the other side. If a strap has an easy-pull opening mechanism, he will somehow cut it off. Nothing is safe."
He doesn’t sound like the kind of guy you can afford to have bumbling through your house. On the other hand, he’s probably great with stubborn pinatas.
When You’re Married to Mr. Fix It
User interrobangin’s husband is always trying to fix everything. "When we got together 10 years ago, I found it endearing. My hero wants to save me and fix all my problems. I was 18 when we met (and a mess), so in a lot of ways I did need some saving.
Now, I'm a functioning adult who is nearing 30, and I just want someone to vent to most of the time. I don't need to hear about how I should handle issues at work. Just listen to me and tell me something supportive like "Wow, babe, that sucks." Then split a bottle of wine with me while we settle in for some Netflix. Not everything needs to be fixed by him."
My Wife Abuses Minecraft Privileges
You know Minecraft is a video game that players take very seriously. Redditor kerred struggles to maintain his cool when his wife plays. "She doesn't take precautions playing Minecraft. It was funny seeing her wooden house burn down or watching her lose all her stuff by digging straight down.
Of course, I ran the server, so she would ask me to use my admin powers to get it all back — a lot. She also still sends settlers unescorted in Civ V — just triggered all Civ players, sorry. Other than these issues, she is still perfect after 10 years."
Can We Just Sit Down?
"My wife has always been the outdoorsy type, which I loved because I enjoy a hike now and then, said Reddit user I_Like_Eggs123 about his wife. We moved to Montana, and now, we have mountain bikes, kayaks and expensive hiking gear.
Needless to say, I can’t seem to just spend a Saturday sitting on my butt anymore. It’s exhausting."
Do You Really Want to be a Musician's Wife?
Oh, how the times eventually change for bands and their groupies. This musician noted the following about his wife: "When we dated, she loved hearing me sing and play guitar, and she attended all my gigs. Now, she hates it because she realized that being that good requires practice, and she has to live with that.
On the flip side, she now both sympathizes and pities the girls who ogle me on stage. ‘Yeah, you love him now, but you didn't have to hear him screw up that solo a million times.'"
Meet My Wife, Butter Fingers
According to hermesgate, his wife "is clumsy and drops things. It used to be adorable, but 16 years later, it has lost its charm. When she knocks her phone onto the floor at 5 a.m. while she’s getting ready for work, then drops her hair dryer 10 minutes later and then drops her smoothie cup before turning the blender on — well, you get the idea.
I’m thinking, hey, I don’t have to get up for hours, lady. Just try to pay attention. Try to be quiet." It doesn’t seem to be something she could ever accomplish.
Sleeping with Rip Van Winkle
Know anyone who sleeps like a dead person? That’s the case with su1ac0’s wife. "At first, it was cute, she'd be so asleep I'd have to literally shake her non-stop until she stirred, but 10 years and two kids later, it’s just awful. She has slept through babies crying in the night, the dog getting spooked — you name it. I've literally had discussions with her that the family could be brutally murdered, the house could burn down, any number of awful things could happen without her waking up.
Do you know how many mornings I've gotten up with barely any sleep, and she is completely well-rested with no understanding of why I'm in a bad mood? It's especially bad when we have plans later that day, and I'm exhausted, and she gets mad at me for being in a bad mood."
Who Burns Eggs?
Reddit user grubas is tired of going hungry. He says, "She can’t cook. At first, I was like, well, I keep feeding her so she can’t leave or she always finds good deals on food, and I get to cook weird crap." Now, it’s like, woman, I’ve tried to teach you, and you can still only do roasts and desserts! You actually set eggs on fire! You would clearly starve if I left you."
If you didn’t even know it was possible to set eggs on fire, you are not alone. Add that to the plate of burned toast and bacon for a breakfast fit for a queen!
The Ultimate Momma's Boy
MommaBearJam had this to say about her Momma’s boy spouse: "When we were dating, I loved that he was so close to his mother and sisters. They really raised him to be a great man, but now it’s getting annoying. We’ve been together for seven years and have two kids. He won’t budge if he disagrees with my advice, but if his mother or sisters say the same thing, it’s the best advice he ever got.
He has come a long way, but we still struggle with it. When we had our first baby, he wanted to run everything by them before listening to me. When I wanted to take our baby’s binky away, he told me he would think about it, and then his mom texted me five minutes later to say 6 months old is way too young. So, I had to talk to both of them about appropriate boundaries. Now, she checks with me to make sure she’s not crossing any boundaries before offering advice, so it’s just smaller things, but it drives me crazy."
Stop … Breathing!
Remember those days when you just couldn’t get enough of your significant other? You loved the sound of their voice, the touch of their hand, the glimmer in their eye. You even loved listening to them breathe.
Redditor dustbunnee can certainly relate. "When we were dating, I’d love to lay there next to him and listen to his breathing as he was falling asleep. Now, some nights I have trouble sleeping, and he just has to turn and breathe on me as I’m finally falling asleep. When it happens, I just want to strangle him, but I love him, and I’m sure I do plenty of annoying things."
It's Hard Being Both a Wife and a Mother … to Your Husband
User sSommy certainly isn’t the first Reddit user to complain about an immature spouse. She noted, "His immaturity drove me nuts. At first, it was kind of nice to be the one in charge, but it quickly became taxing to be a mom to someone who is four years older than me.
Everyone thinks he's younger than me or the same age, so it's annoying, especially when he thinks it's appropriate to loudly announce ‘You do NOT want to go in there for a while!’ in front of my boss, coworkers and a few customers."
The Master Chef Makes the Kids Cranky
One Reddit user noted the importance of meal efficiency. "Once you have kids, making sure your family eats on time becomes a lot more important than having creative meals. Kids can get super cranky when they are hungry or tired, and no one wants to deal with that. Meals you can reliably have on the table at 6:30 p.m. are going to win out over a cool new sous vide recipe that is ‘almost done’ at 7:45.
My husband missed that lesson. He is a great cook who would spontaneously put together an elaborate, multi-course meal in the middle of the week. It was lots of fun when it was just the two of us but not for our family."
Indecisive Shoppers Grate on Your Nerves
It’s nice to know your wisdom is meaningful, but a little independence in a mate can go a long way toward a happy marriage. User babyallyse agrees with that idea. "He can’t go to the store to pick something up without calling me, even if it’s just one thing, like milk.
It never fails, my phone will ring at some point while he’s gone. ‘Do you want a gallon or a half gallon?’ or ‘You want 2%, right?’ or ‘They’re out of milk.’ Just figure it out on your own for once!"
The Perks of Loving Bigfoot
Heavy-footed walking is the stuff of nightmares for Redditor Shabingly. "Listen up, Stompy! Enough with all the stomping all over the place. You're three quarters my height and half my weight. You should not resemble a herd of rhinos coming up the stairs or make the bed vibrate when you walk across the floor."
It’s a sound we tend to tolerate with kids, but not adults. Learn to step softly, especially if you live in a two-story home or in an apartment above other tenants.