Become a Master of Flirting With These Scientifically Proven Techniques
It's only natural to flirt with someone you’re attracted to. You might not even realize when you’re doing it. At the same time, society is a complicated place, and sometimes (often), the signs of romantic interest aren’t as clear as you might think.
Thankfully, there are some scientifically proven things you can do to make it apparent that you're flirting. Start applying these flirting tips, and you'll notice the difference in no time.
Make Eye Contact — It’s Crucial
Eye contact is necessary when flirting. It shows that your interest goes beyond friendliness and into romantic territory. Even more, it's a good idea to keep your gazes locked for longer than just a second. It starts a silent conversation between your hearts, literally, as they both will probably start to beat faster.
Let Them Know You’re Available
Making your availability known is an essential part of successful flirting. If they don't know whether or not you’re available, they might hold back their own flirtation (or never approach you in the first place). But it can seem awkward to come right out and say, "I'm available!"
Smile Like You Mean It
Smiling has a lot of functions where flirting is concerned. Smiling makes people appear happy, friendly and approachable. In fact, studies have revealed that perceived attractiveness tends to go way up when a person is smiling. For these reasons, smiling is essential when flirting.
It's okay to give subtle, non-verbal signals, but when you've gotten to the point of talking, that subtlety isn’t going to get you very far. Opening with a direct line when you begin flirting allows for a better conversation to ensue. The other person isn’t left wondering if you're interested or not.
Bring Your Confidence With You
Confidence is attractive. It's usually pretty obvious if a person feels confident or not, which can easily impact how successful they are at flirting. A confident person makes others feel good about themselves. They're easy to talk to, and they usually keep a conversation flowing.
Ask Them Questions
To be successful at flirting, it's important to make it a priority to ask the other person meaningful questions. Your curiosity in who they are is bound to keep them interested. It also gives you an opportunity to discover cool things about them that might lead to a more genuine connection.
Don't Bring a Wingman
Here's a myth-buster: Bringing a wingman along when you're going out doesn’t bode well if you’re trying to find a date. It's nice to have some emotional support, but when you go out alone, the chances of finding love are much higher.
A Little Teasing Can Go a Long Way
Teasing is a timeless method of flirtation at all ages. The right kind of teasing shows you’re interested. It can make the other person laugh or smile if the teasing turns into playful back-and-forth banter. When you're riffing off of each other's comments, that's even better.
Being present means you’re focused on what’s going on in front of you. You’re not distracted or lost in your head somewhere. Being present while flirting shows the other person that you’re taking a genuine interest in them. It shows that you’re a kind and sincere person.
Make Gentle Contact
Physical contact can be tricky when you're flirting. You don't want to make the other person feel trapped or uncomfortable. Never grab or grasp, and avoid touching areas that might be a little too close for comfort too soon. Flirty touching should always be light. It can be incredibly effective.
Give Them a Compliment
A compliment is a sure way to get someone's attention and make a good impression. It makes the person feel good when you say something nice about them, especially if it’s genuine. Compliments get a successful flirtation session going.
Use Body Language to Your Advantage
Your body language can play a significant role in your flirting success if you do it right. Playing with your hair or touching your face or mouth are a few examples of flirty body language. Another way to show interest with body language is to move closer to the object of your affection.
Don't Bother With Small Talk
You won’t find a lasting connection this way. Rather than talking about the weather, use your flirting muscles by getting a bit more personal. The probable outcome is that you'll feel much closer to the person you're flirting with than if conversation remained shallow.
Don't Forget to Introduce Yourself
Introducing yourself may not seem like an act of flirtation, but it turns out it can be. It shows that you want the other person to know, care about and remember who you are. Introducing yourself can go a long way and take your flirting game to the next level with one simple move.
You can enhance your flirting success when you're dressed to impress, but that's not all. Specifically, wearing red can positively impact how attractive you look to others. That doesn't mean you'll look friendlier by any means, but you'll be more likely to get the attention that you're looking for in your flirtation if you're donning red.
Make Them Laugh
Who doesn't love laughing? It's one of the soul's greatest medicines. With that in mind, getting the other person to laugh during a flirt session can really make you look favorable in their eyes. They'll immediately begin to associate you with something positive and fun.
Keep It Light
Flirting is often more successful when heavy topics are left out of it. This means that past relationships, money, religion and politics are pretty much off-limits. You don't want your flirtation to turn into a debate.
Avoid Pickup Lines
Avoid cheesy pickup lines if you want to be successful at flirting. Most people, while they may chuckle at a pickup line initially, tend to find them annoying. Their laughter isn't about the pickup line being funny. It's a way to diffuse some of the discomfort and awkwardness.
Don't Come On Too Strong
Compliments are great when flirting, but if you come on too strong, that can turn into a red flag. Even if you genuinely feel like you love everything about them, saying it all at once can be a bit overwhelming and make you look desperate.
Offer Them a Hot Beverage
When you're on a date and you're going to a restaurant or bar, keep things hot — when it comes to liquids. You might want to consider this the next time you're flirting with someone: When a person has a hot drink, they tend to perceive others around them more favorably.
Make Sure You're Taking Up Space
This one is more for a person flirting with a woman. Women associate taking up space with dominance, and biologically speaking, women like dominance. When a person "takes up space" during flirtation, the chances that it goes well end up being a lot higher.
Initiate the Conversation
Initiating the conversation is about making the first move. It doesn't matter if you think it's your traditional role or not to be the one to approach the other. Do it anyway. Making the first move shows confidence. It also lets the other person know you’ve taken an interest.
Tilt Your Head
A study at Australia's University of Newcastle discovered that a forward-tilted head makes a woman appear more attractive. That way, the woman has no choice but to look slightly upward as she's speaking. When flirting, this is a sneaky little move women can use to their advantage to create allure.
Maintain Good Posture
Posture is a type of non-verbal communication that you shouldn’t overlook. After all, how you hold yourself says a lot about you. While you don't want to look uncomfortable, it's best to avoid excessive slouching. That can easily impact how attractive you appear to the other person.
Use Their Name When You're Talking to Them
Using someone's name makes them feel closer to you and helps create a bond. It signifies that their name is important enough to remember, and that makes a great first impression. Subconsciously, they’ll feel that the interaction is more meaningful if you've used their name.
Point Your Feet in Their Direction
Feet have more to do with flirting than just playing footsie. Some studies have found that women point or move their feet in the direction of a person they’re into. If you don't find yourself doing that naturally to flirt, it seems like a good idea to start doing so.
Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Even if it seems to work in the moment, the truth will come out sooner or later. Why not avoid that awkwardness altogether? If you have to be false to get someone to take an interest in you, they're not worth your time.
Never underestimate good listening skills to maximize your flirt sessions, no matter if it's when you first meet a person or when you’re on an early date. It feels good when someone is listening to you. Earnest listening is a sign of affection because it shows you actually care.
Leave Them Wanting More
Cut the conversation short before it grows tiresome. That's how you leave someone wanting more, and it's an incredibly effective flirting technique. Be the one to exit the interaction first, and you'll pique their curiosity. We always seem to want the things that are slightly unattainable the most, after all.
Behaviors of warmth often happen naturally if you genuinely like someone. These include making eye contact, smiling and leaning in. Those things indicate that you're feeling something. Still, taking it to the next level of warmth is another step you can choose to be more successful at flirting.